Kamal Ellis-Hyman recently released a video on how to speak more positively. It is not long, but it has enough in it to get the message across. ‘There are true power in our words, and we have to choose them correctly.’ The words we use make our opinions on a subject and if we choose the wrong ones then we have a negative view on said subject. If we go on using negativity in our words, we will tear down the good we see in something only to leave the bad that we think is there.
‘Our words determine our reality; our words determine our perspective. And the way in which we react with the world is based on our own perspective of the world, our own expectations- which are created by the words we choose.’
Kamal uses an example of describing yourself using phrases like ‘I think I am good at this...’ and ‘Sometimes I’m okay…’ and ‘I’m average.’ which is a bad way to look at yourself because you are using words that tear down your self esteem and you need to give yourself more credit. You should empower yourself to excite whoever you are describing yourself to.
When we speak to other people, we should also consider the consequence of our words. For example, insults can be a very bad way to communicate because the result is tearing another person down and that is a bad way to leave someone. Sometimes we can be careless with our words because we are careless with our emotions and /or reactions. Kamal uses a colleague failing as an example. ‘Did your team member mess up? Or did they just misunderstand the assignment? Is that person “Stupid” or “Useless” or are they just utilizing their skills incorrectly? Are they just working in the wrong area of the business?’ If that person gets shouted at then there will be nothing productive as a result and you are made to look like a mean person because they feel bad about themselves now. And how can they produce anything good if they don’t think they can? Instead, you should use positive words to help them out and inspire them to figure out how to do a better job next time.
‘I think we have the power to create the world around us through our words. Create how our words come across to people. Create the reputation that we want to have. Create the reality we want. If we just control our words.
So, if we have a sudden emotional reaction and we get mad, what do we do to make sure we say the right thing? Answer: we can choose to change our emotion to be calmer and then take Kamal’s advice- ‘It’s going to sound so simple – but just take an extra 3 seconds’ ‘If we can take that extra 3 seconds just to consider the words that are about to come out of our mouth. when we are speaking to ourselves and when we are speaking to others, we can literally adjust our entire perspective.’
‘Choose words that: empower, infuse, energise people. As opposed to words that- destroy, diminish or degrade people.’
The video ends with a challenge to become a person who stops being a ‘reactive communicator’ and to become a ‘conscious communicator’. So, that maybe we can change the world around us to a more supportive and thoughtful environment in which we can flourish as better people with better mindsets. Even using better words for our own self-esteem and mental improvement. Rather than “I think I am good at….” Use “I know I am good at…” and instead of telling ourselves “I am average” say “I am excellent.” And once we believe it then we can start to feel a change in how we see ourselves and move on to helping others.